Aging Is a Family Affair

By Steve Barlam, MSW, Chief Executive Officer, JFS Care

When an aging person’s health changes, the impact reaches everyone—spouses, adult children, grandchildren, and even the wider community. If we focus only on the older adult and ignore the people around them, we end up creating care plans that don’t work or don’t last. Families are part of the system, and their needs matter just as much.

There is always a role for family in the caregiving equation—but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. People often think, “If I’m their child, I have to be the sole caregiver. I have to do everything myself.” What we try to do is help families find that family sweet spot—the balance where they can accept a little bit of help, support an older adult’s ability to stay safely at home, and keep themselves from burning out or making crisis decisions in a moment of panic. Sometimes that looks like a few hours of care during the week. Sometimes it means bringing in a care manager so family members can share responsibility instead of one person carrying the entire load. And sometimes it’s simply stepping back and exploring public benefits or grant-funded programs people never knew they qualified for.

JFS Care is a nonprofit home care agency grounded in decades of caregiving experience at Jewish Family Service LA. We provide non-medical home care—functional support with the essential tasks that carry us from morning to night: meal preparation, bathing, dressing, mobility support, toileting, housekeeping, laundry, transportation, companionship, and medication reminders. This is the kind of care that makes everyday life possible.

We also have professional care managers—experienced social workers and other specialists—who go into the home, assess the full picture, and identify risk factors. We look at depression, home safety, falls, nutrition, medications, driving, and even things like unsecured firearms in the home. We serve private-pay families, Holocaust survivors funded through reparations from the German government, and clients supported through grants and public contracts. And if we’re not the best fit, we don’t force it—we help families get to the right resource.

You have permission to use the elder care that’s available.
Reaching out for help is not only okay—
it is a powerful act of strength.

The truth is, many caregivers are wired to put others first and neglect themselves in critical ways. And that’s not sustainable. I see it every day. Adult children try to be superheroes, doing everything on their own at the expense of their own health. On airplanes, they tell you to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting someone else. The same goes for elder care—a caregiver’s well-being is foundational to the family system. You cannot support someone you love if you’re running on empty.

For families who feel overwhelmed or alone, the smallest next step is often the most important: reach out to a trusted friend, a support group, a rabbi, or a professional like a care manager at JFS Care. You don’t have to do this by yourself.

At the heart of our work is understanding. Until we truly understand what you’re going through, we can’t be of help. We serve the whole family—listening, identifying the gaps, and working with you to build a plan that fits your life. We aim to be part of your caregiving team, not an outside voice telling you what to do.

And to every family member who believes that asking for help is a sign of weakness—I want you to hear this clearly: You have permission to use the elder care that’s available. Reaching out for help is not only okay—it is a powerful act of strength.